Thoughts

This is unfiltered/ unedited, just dropping down an update for now!

So I have been off of IG all of September so far for my mental health and tbh it feels so good being off of it. I do not like to publicly talk about my personal life too much but my mental health has plummeted because of the gyaru community in the past months. Its easy to ignore everything until issues directly involve you. I am so grateful to have friends irl and a select few in the overall comm but I just currently feel isolated and just incredibly drained. So many other mooties have expressed wanting to distance themselves, leave gyaru, or get off of social media or even leaving gyaru completely and it had me thinking.... if its bothering me I should stop, at least take a break. So I stayed off of social media (aside from tiktok) I feel awesome and got to unwind even though I have also been back in school I'm not overly stressed or anxious which is strange. 

I got to take time to myself to think about my overall interests and hyper fixations. I got back into gaming on my switch and am looking into modding my 3DS (a bit scared to do it but I really wanna play games) I have been chronically on ACNH and am trying to fix up my island and get cute villagers. I already have my main dreamies but I am on the hunt for more. I have so much gyaru, haikyuu, and dragon ball references on my island! I can't find any blue lock stuff so i gotta make them myself and upload them once I get a Nintendo membership. (i'll post pics from my switch when i figure out how lol)

I have also looked into old media I used to be obsessed with including old anime and disney. I'm super into Star Wars rn, I used to be obsessed with Star Wars in elementary school but I'm coming back to it a decade later which is cool! Its so different watching it as an adult vs as a kid. I loved the action and droids when I was younger but now I love looking at the fashion and romance aspect more lol. THEY ARE DRIPPED TF OUT!!!!

I have also been thinking about other styles I looked at when I was younger that I potentially wanted to do like sweet lolita, and specifically early 2010s decora and fairy kei, as well as scene, and 2019 E Girl. Ik alot of gyaru are super judgmental towards people who are not strictly gyaru as in they only do gyaru but fashion is about expression and fun. The comm is not fun and people are really lame if they think like that. Gyaru will always hold a special place in my heart as I feel it is MY STYLE or what I feel most like myself wearing it and living the lifestyle but I'm seriously thinking of branching out for now. I might get into sweet lolita since I can use the dresses and accessories  for hime gyaru anyways. Maybe I'll do EGirl?? but ik that would send people spiraling if i just decide to wear a brand piece with that makeup.. even if its just a tshirt. Not my fault most of my clothes is brand or intended for gyaru lol so so what if I style it for something else?! I finally feel tried of having my hair red too so I plan to change it once I run out of hair dye. I was thinking of going back to my natural color or doing something pink... not sure? I never thought the day would come where I miss my natural hair color but I do surprisingly?! I'll see how I feel when I run out of dye.

All in all I got so absorbed by the gyaru lifestyle and I just miss the simplicity of everything before it, no guys I'm not a poser I'm just exhausted..... everything is exhausting and ik its not just me!! I miss being a chronic cosplayer and gamer and collecting things but had no money to keep up with it all because of my dedication to gyaru. I feel its time to put focus on other things too! Spooky season is here and so is SoCal con season and I really wanna cosplay. 

I am not quitting gyaru I just need space for now, I still plan to go out with friends and do gyaru I just need a break form the online comm for just a bit longer and tbh it feels so nice being away from it idk how I'm gonna go back even if I want to. I have at least 2 looks I want to do in September but I'm already late for one 1 its Latino heritage month and I really wanna do a code for that and 2 its Tsukishima Kei's birthday month and I gotta do a code for him hehe. Hopefully I do post stuff on IG not just TikTok so I can just document everything because you don't know how many times I've hoarded pics I wanted to post but just didn't because I get anxious about it (basically did that all of this year! i only posted regularly till the end of Febuary missing about 10 posts from the year yall 10) I hope to get back soon

XO, Jacey🌺